Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
no, really?
Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
now that's taking things a bit far!
Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
what a guy!
Miners Refuse to Work after Death
no-good-for-nothin' lazy so-and-sos!
Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
see if that works any better than a fair trial!
War Dims Hope for Peace
I can see where it might have that effect!
If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly,It May Last Awhile
you think!
Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
who would have thought!
Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?
Not if I wipe thoroughly!
Eye Drops Off Shelf
So that's where I put it.
Enfield (! London) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
they may be on to something!
Red Tape HoldsUp New Bridges
you mean there's something stronger than duct tape!
Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge
he probably IS the battery charge!
New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
weren't they fat enough!
Astronaut TakesBlame for Gas in Spacecraft
That's what he gets for eating those beans!
Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
Taste like chicken?
Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
Chainsaw Massacre all over again!
Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Axe
aposable thumbs?
Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
Boy, are they tall!
And the winner is...
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
~~~~~~~~
Did I read that sign right?
In an Office :
TOILET OUT OF ORDER... PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW
In a Laundromat:
AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT
In a London department store:
BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS
In an office:
WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN
In an office:
AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD
Outside a secondhand shop:
WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?
Notice in health food shop window:
CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS
Spotted in a safari park:
ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR
Seen during a conference:
FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOOR
Notice in a farmer's field:
THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES.
On a repair shop door:
WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK)
SLOW CHILDREN AT PLAY
